Toxic Gender: a listening group

There is now so much divisive discord, fearmongering and misinformation around the subject of woman's rights vs. trans rights, that it has made the topic of gender an explosive one that can lead to highly charged arguments and a complete breakdown in any clear conversation. It has made gender as a topic in itself 'toxic'.

On Tuesday 29th July, Room to Be held their pilot evening for the creation of a much needed focus group that practises active listening instead of discussion. In the centre of the table we placed post-it notes with questions around gender to act as prompts. Participants picked questions that they felt drawn to and were interested in saying something about. As people started to speak, more questions naturally arose and were added into the middle.

Some of the selected questions on the evening:

Do you wear your gender?

Do you experience God as male / female?

Do you feel safe in your gender?

What positive / negative gender role models have you had?

Are you playful with your gender? How?

Do you experience your gender as embodied?

Is there generational gender expressions?

Have you experienced chauvinism / misogyny / sexism?

What does toxic femininity look like?

The premise of the group is to have a safe space where you can speak freely of your personal experience of gender, your concerns, hopes, confusion around certain issues, and everything said will be listened to without rebuttal or judgement. In listening we may find new answers to old questions or a more flexible way of thinking that challenges hitherto fixed ideas.

Gender is an experience and an identity we all have, even if we are not entirely aware of how it plays out for us in our day to day. It can be easy to assume there are clear commonalities between all males and all females with people who are gender incongruent as outliers. But the more we are able to deeply listen, the more we will see that everyone's gender experience is complex, unique to them and no more or less valid than anyone else's.

If you are interested in getting involved with our Gender Talks, please get in touch: roomtobe.dundee@gmail.com